"What, are you goth or something?"
"See. She is emo."
You've left me kneeling in the aisle way,
Picking up the pieces,
Picking up myself
While I'm cautious not to let a faucet run from my face
"Abby..Are you alright..?"
My history teacher...so kind, I absolutely adore her..
I tried to hold myself together as I made no effort to stop tears that raced down.
I just wanted to run..
"If you need to, you can go into the hallway.."
A shake of my head would tell her no, but if I could speak I'd say yes.
"Abby, you okay?!" Karina.. so polite
"What is i-oh..." Matthew, so clueless at times..
"Hey...Abby, are you sure you're okay?" ..no...
"What happened?" ...
It was only the same as ever.
Every passing day
Yet they don't see my tears, they wouldn't care anyways,
They're just one cause of my pain
You can call me emo.
You can yell "Goth".
You can label me fag.
I'm Sorry,MommyI'm sorry that I couldn't be the perfect girl you wanted
I tried so hard to be happy,but just like you I'm haunted
And underneath the laughter and the smiles that I flaunted
I was hurting,Mommy,just like you
I'm sorry I couldn't be strong
How it hurt
I'm sorry I didn't last so long
I feel like dirt
Because I see you trying to act alright,
Act alright for me
And I know it's my fault you and Daddy fight
I'm so sorry,I'll let you be
I'll say I'm okay
Just please wipe your tears away
What a Frustrating LifeDo you know what
It is like
To be the one
That no one likes?
Not a single friend
And your enemies
Are more powerful
Than you'll ever be.
Throw away your pride
For a fake life,
Your superficial friends
Never by your side
But you were just so sick
Of sitting at home
From too much time alone.
You lie to yourself,
Say you love this
Feeling of hell.
You might as well
Just suck a gun
because this problem
Isn't going away.
You always knew
It was what you say
And your childish anger
That drove friends away.
Change was all you tried
But in the end
It was all a lie
You were just you
Alone and sad
With the hatred
That stole all you had.
It'll all just stay the same,
Slowly slipping from the sane.
Your AftermathThere's a lifetime of things I never told you
an ocean between us that I was too scared to cross;
I should have swam to you though, darling.
I should have thrown every key to your feet
and allowed you to unlock whichever secrets you desired.
I should have told you how much I love you
(present tense; never past)
how often my heart beats your name
how hot my skin is every time you touch me
how your voice is like music and when I dream,
it's filled with your dulcet tones
how I can't think of anyone else
no matter how hard I try.
I should have told you
because now it's too late
now you're in a place where I can't reach you
where I can't touch you
or hear you
or beg you not to get into your car
after a lonely night at the bar.
You don't have to deal with the aftermath
but what about those of us
who have to pick up all the pieces you left behind?
leaving me in the wake of my mistakes
my should-have, what-if's.
All those years I thought I was most afraid of dying,